From Disorder to Surrender
Ten months. Ten months ago, I started to satisfy my hunger with soup because I was afraid of eating carbohydrates. Ten months ago, I decided I wasn’t allowed to feel ‘full’ anymore. Ten months ago, I looked in the mirror, at my stomach and felt absolutely defeated. I started restricting my food intake last October, and continued to do so because there were no immediate consequences. I still had energy, I was doing well in school, and I seemed to have everything more or less together. But, when I saw my ribs poking through the skin of my back one day, I knew my desire to exert control over every aspect of my life had turned into something extremely detrimental. I knew this physical weakness was a result of not fully entrusting my heart to Him, the one who made it; I had failed to nourish the body that housed my heart. I had not respected my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit and instead of letting the Spirit free me, I’d tied it up in chains. I had forsaken the Father. There was ...